For God's sake, you clicked on something titled
"Centaur Porn."
Do I need to warn you what's on this page?

My First Centaur Porn
There must be a pony!

In the late 80's and early 90's there was an interesting little zine call The Centaurs Gatherum. I liked the CG. I submitted drawings to it once in a while and I very much enjoyed seeing what other people were doing with the subject matter.

In the early 90's there were rumors that they were going to do an X-rated version. I thought this was a fabulous idea. I immediately rushed right out and drew me some centaur porn. I made several sticky drawings and I had a great time doing it. I frequently laugh aloud while making art and these were particularly fun.

So I submitted my drawings- unfortunately during a time of flux for both me and the CG. I think I sent my drawings to the Editor#1 when I was supposed to send them to Editor #2. I'm not sure, but I think my drawings may not have been seen by the CGX editor, #3. And by the time I knew that, I was moving and all my stuff was packed up. Oh, well.

So anyway, my pictures weren't published and I was a bit disappointed. I did eventually hear back from Editor #1 who didn't like my drawings. Too kinky, he said. Too much cross-species sex. Too graphic a depiction of penetration. And here I had thought my drawings were kind of sweet. Apparently I was perverted. Well. Darn it.

I went and had a life. Five years later I cleaned up some (the house- not my fantasies) and I found my old drawings. I showed them to my husband. "Ooooh!" he said. He told me to submit them to an erotica magazine (Paramour) run by a woman who lived down the street from us. I did so. My drawings were rejected because, "they didn't do bestiality." They thought I was perverted, too. Well, hell!

Anyway, I stuffed the drawings back into the box and then last year (1999) I sorted the attic. I labeled and dated all my sketchbooks and drawings. I found my centaur porn drawings again. And you know what? I still liked 'em.

How is it that people found them offensive? Every character looked of age, every act looked happy and consensual. This was so vanilla! And these were people NOT animals.

Just for the record, I'm not into bestiality. I think that an animal can't give true consent. I think that my mythical drawings show people having sex- not people having sex with animals.

My friends indulge in roundtable e-mail conversations. One day the subject moved from horses to centaurs. I jumped in and described my drawings and asked for opinions. "Ewww!" seemed to be the general consensus. Hmm.

I remember someone saying once that my drawings were kind of like seeing childrens storybook characters suddenly rip off their clothing and start making out. "Cool!" I thought.

"Yeah. It's kinda disturbing," they continued. "Especially the one where the elf girl is giving that centaur a hand-job. Eww."

I may just have to face facts here.
I must be a weirdo.

I have another theory that I like better.

I'm going to have to admit something now. While I do occassionally read erotica, I don't look at porn. When I drew these drawings I had had plenty of sex, but I had hardly seen any porn at all ever. I still avoid porn on the internet and I have never seen a porn movie.

I was innocent of porn canons and conventions and I remained that way until...um...last month. (Spring 2000) So what I drew back then was what I imagined porn was- not necessarily what porn actually usually IS. And like going to see the movie after you have read the book-the book was SO much better!

At least, I was vastly disappointed by my tour of porn last month. Bondage does nothing for me. Violence is icky. And... and we have to talk about the breasts! What is the deal here! In my old drawings the breasts were often turned towards and mashed upon partners. There was only one clear shot of one breast. It was of average size. In NONE of my drawings was the breast the focus of the drawing.

This seems to be..er..unconventional for porn. We're talking breasts, breasts, breasts! And butts! And hair! And too much make-up and pouting at the camera! And not enough smiling and giggling!

So, I guess if people are used to typical mass-market porn, my stuff wouldn't titillate them at all. The guys want T&A and the women- well I dunno.

So what's up with me anyway? My theory is that I'm a pop-culture virgin. I avoid mass-market everything. I hate TV. I never had the money for comics. I'd rather have sex than look at porn. I don't subscribe to the usual narrow view of what beauty is, and my tastes have expanded since I drew these years ago. So my drawings are showing you a very personal vision of my fantasies (both sexual and not sexual) that is in a large part unadulterated by pop-porn and based on my rather gentle vanilla sex life.

I have searched the web diligently for somebody else who seems to be trying to show a very personal vision of fantasy-themed loving consensual gentle vanilla sex. I have found one other person who makes these homo-erotic anthropomorphic very large bear drawings. They are... to me... absolutely beautiful. I may just have to face facts here. I must be a weirdo.